Week Three: Day Seven
The Story
The church bells rang. It was finally the big day! Matt and Anna had spent the last eleven months preparing as many details to come together as they could. Well, mostly Anna prepared. Matt oversaw selecting the music.
During the last eleven months, they both did their best to grow up as much as they could. They each examined the relationships that their own parents had developed and talked about what they did and didn’t want to bring into their own marriage.
Matt’s family had stayed together, but his parents were often quite unhappy. Although they were Christians, they seemed to care more about progressing their careers than focusing on one another. In doing so, their marriage existed, but on the back burner.
Anna’s parents each now had three divorces. Anna’s dad had been in and out of alcohol rehab clinics. Anna’s mom, while getting her life together, had jumped from job to job three years at a time and nothing seemed to satisfy her.
With this fabric as their backdrop, both Matt and Anna set out to begin their marriage differently. They decided to make a pact that divorce is not an option. They agreed to always communicate and never go to bed angry. They also agreed that eventually they would have children, however, they disagreed on the number. Anna wanted four or five while Matt thought two would be plenty.
Today was the day! Matt stood at the front of the sanctuary as his bride began to turn the corner to walk down the aisle. Immediately his heart broke for how beautiful she looked. His eyes filled with the sweetest tears. It was a moment that he would never forget.
As they made their vows to one another, they each agreed to love and cherish the other through every circumstance and situation. The minister said a beautiful prayer over them and released them to begin their marriage by pronouncing them man and wife.
The Devotion
I remember the moment: My then soon-to-be-wife and I were just getting into the car with Brother Jim who would marry us. This was going to be our first marriage counseling appointment and we were headed to lunch to have it. I was excited and a tad nervous.
Just as we sat down in the car, Brother Jim asked us a question that I will never forget. He said, “Why do y’all think you should be getting married?”. We live in Tennessee [USA] where “y’all” is a valuable time saver over the vastly less superior time-suck of the two words you and all. So, “Why do y’all think you should be getting married?”
Being a little nervous, a thousand answers came to my head. I think I said, “because we love each other.” My wife probably said something far wiser than that. I know whatever we said, they were not the answers he was looking for.
Brother Jim’s answer packed a punch. He said you should only get married because you are better together for God’s Kingdom then you ever were apart. Better together.
Genius! Looks fade. Careers change. Circumstances change. Our ministry commitment to the Kingdom should not. When we choose to marry our significant other we become a powerful ministry team. His advice was to make sure that we were headed into that marriage covenant with our primary focus being on God. The “Seek first the kingdom and everything else will come together” [Matthew 6:33] principle needs to be in play. Marriage is too hard to not live with this idea in the forefront.
If you are married, you should still think through this question. No, I am not advocating divorce. I’m advocating bettering your relationship with God in hopes that you and your spouse will become an incredible ministry team.
If you are headed toward marriage someday, you need to ask yourself that question even more. Are you better together with the person with whom you are marrying than you are apart? If you genuinely can’t say “yes” to that, perhaps seek God’s counsel to know if you should move forward. In my opinion, you want to be able to answer that question with a firm “yes”.
The Bible
Matthew 19 | Philippians 2 | Ecclesiastes 4
The Prayer
“Dear Lord Jesus, I trust that You are equipping me for ministry. [Say if you are married] Bless ___________ as my partner in ministry. [Say if you are still seeking] Please provide the perfect person with whom I will be better together for your Kingdom. [Everyone] Regardless of any circumstance, please lead me toward Your best. As I develop my own character, please help me to grow my heart for other people. You were the best example of this in Your own life and I want to do my best to follow that example. May that ring true in my marriage as well. I will look to their needs above my own. Thank You Lord for your help! In Jesus name, amen.”
